Educated Parenting

The Parenting Legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is so much to be grateful for as we celebrate Martin Luther King Day, including the legacy of non-violent parenting that he exemplified in his relationships with his children.

For Dr. King, non-violence was more than a means for addressing society's problems.  It was also a value that guided his parenting.

As his son Dexter Scott King shared in his book, Growing Up King, "He didn't spank us...Daddy might sit us down and explain things.  'This is why you should'nt do that, son.'  He would deal more on a mental level, try to get us to understand why things were."

Dexter further shared, "He was very much a talker, he would talk about subjects with us, was intimate in his feelings, in terms of our being able to understand the subject and his feelings.  You felt like his equal, almost like he was bringing you up in his world to his level, not like he was coming down to you.  He was soothing to listen to, authoritative you knew, because he was Daddy, but also deliberate, precise, when he spoke, you listened."

We at the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring also listened.

Bill Cosby and Parenting African American Children

The year long debate about comedian Bill Cosby's criticisms of the parenting of poor and uneducated African Americans has been strangely devoid of any appreciation of what has been happening over the last twenty years to assist such parents -- and their more educated and affluent counterparts -- to be as effective as possible in raising children of African descent. 

Mr. Cosby's criticisms have been particularly harsh concerning his economically and educationally disadvantaged peers.  They have stimulated heated discussions and even a new book written in rebuttal, "Is Bill Crosby Right? Or Has the Black Middle Class Lost It Mind?" by University of Pennsylvania professor, Michael Eric Dyson.

Yet neither of these highly educated men has said a word about the most direct way to help African American parents raise proud, healthy and achieving children, i.e., by educating them to be as effective as possible.

The failure to make this approach a part of this important debate is more glaring in light of the fact that for the last twenty years there has existed a parent effectiveness training program created just for African Americans, the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring's Effective Black Parenting Program.  This national model program honors and respects the unique heritage and characteristics of African Americans, directly confronts the racism that has made it so difficult to raise proud and achieving children, and teaches and reinforces basic effective parenting skills and strategies.

Not only has the Effective Black Parenting Program been in existence for over twenty years, but it has also been used with great success by thousands of African Americans who have enrolled in Effective Black Parenting classes that are being taught through local schools, churches and community agencies.

Parenting and Hurricane Katrina

To the parents of New Orleans, heavy hearts go out to you.

Being a parent in the wake and chaos of Hurricane Katrina is being challenged way beyond what should be expected of any person with the responsibility of raising children.  The agonizing helplessness of the last few days.  The horror of being a refugee in your own country.  The primal fear of not knowing what the future has in store for you and your children.

We at the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring have worked with you ever since we started in 1974.

Parenting and War of the Worlds

One of the extraordinary facets of filmmaker Steven Spielberg's work, including his current spectacular movie, War of the Worlds, is his ability to capture significant encounters between parents and children.

In War of the Worlds, his lead character is a divorced father who has alienated his children through his selfishness.  Spielberg shows how honest and direct communication, albeit under demanding circumstances, can create the opportunity for mending even longstanding rifts.

It is an important and positive message, conveyed forcefully by a filmmaker who is also a devoted parent.

There are now many books, videos and programs for divorced and divorcing parents to learn how