Conveying Warmth -- The Encouragement Approach, Part Two

Learning the Encouragement Approach is particularly important if you have been in the habit of discouraging children.

We discourage children when we have unreasonably high standards, such as when we expect them to do well in all endeavors, or to have every hair on their head in place, or to expect their rooms or personal spaces to be “as neat as a pin.”

We also discourage children when we promote competitions between brothers and sisters, or have double standards where we expect cleanliness from children but not from ourselves.

Using encouragement means emphasizing the positive.  It means using phrases that show acceptance of a child and phrases that recognize effort and improvement, such as:

“I like the way you handled that.”

“I like the way you tackle a problem.”

“I’m glad you enjoy learning.”

“I’m glad you are pleased with it.”

“It looks as if you enjoyed that.”

Next, we will learn some phrases that focus on showing confidence and recognizing the contributions children make at home (tune into Encouragement – Part Three,  Tuesday, July 18, 2006).

(More can be learned about the Encouragement Approach in Parenting Skill-Building Programs like STEP – Systematic Training for Effective Parenting and Active Parenting. Click here.)

Comments

[Tony]

Your encouraging them to succeed, wheather their mindset has to heart/belief that helps them be the best they can be....

[Diane Sullivan]

It is really difficult to remain so positive and encouraging with your children when you work full time, volunteer and try to keep up with everything at school and home. After telling your child over and over to "take your time on your homework," "pick up after yourself," etc., it gets frustrating to get home and find the house a mess and homework done in a sloppy fashion. How do you stay positive then?