Educated Parenting

Conveying Warmth -- Effective Praising, Part Three

Today we will look closely at what to say to children when we use the seven step Effective Praising skill for conveying warmth and acceptance, and for instructing them about actions and values that are of particular importance (see list of all seven steps, Parenting Skills and Strategies, February 21, 2006).

Previously we learned how to carry out the first three steps, which had to do with looking directly at the child, moving close and smiling (see Parenting Skills and Strategies, February 23, 2006).

Now, what do we say?

Conveying Warmth -- Effective Praising, Part Two

Today we will look closely at the first three steps of the seven steps of the Effective Praising skill (see Parenting Skills – February 21, 2006 for a list of all seven steps.) 

Recall that the Effective Praising skill is a method for conveying warmth and acceptance, as well as serving to instruct children about which of their actions are significantly valued by their parents.

The behaviors that effective praise are focused upon are those of a cooperative, responsible and respectful nature, such as when a child plays or works cooperatively with others, helps with family chores, or speaks in a respectful tone of voice. 

The use of effective praise to single out and reinforce these types of behaviors is also a way of instilling the values of cooperation, responsibility and respect in our children.

The first three steps have to do with the body language of delivering effective praising:

Conveying Warmth -- Effective Praising, Part One

Parental warmth and acceptance continue to be shown in research study after study to be a key ingredient of effective parenting.

There are many ways of conveying warmth and acceptance, including through such time-tested basics as hugging and kissing children.

Researchers and parent education program creators have found ways that parents can convey warmth that also instructs.

One such method is called Effective Praising.  It is one of the parenting methods that is taught in such model parenting skill-building programs as Confident Parenting: Survival Skill-Training, Effective Black Parenting, and Los Niños Bien Educados.

To make the best use of this method, parents have to notice and move into action when their children are being cooperative, responsible or respectful, such as when they play or work together cooperatively with others, or pick up after themselves or speak in a respectful tone of voice. 

In short, parents have to catch their kids being good, and then they are ready to use the seven steps of Effective Praising:

Helping a Child Get Into College Through Internet Usage

Making it to and through college these days requires Internet sophistication.

Parents can and should play important modeling, orienting and supervision roles in these regards.

To do so requires knowledge of the amazing array of school performance and college preparation resources that exist on the Internet.

I recently became aware of and impressed by a CD that contains and systematizes this valuable information, The Gateway to Academic Success.

One-Day Seminars to Make Parenting Easier

Learning effective parenting skills along with other parents has been shown be an exciting and energizing experience, as well as reducing feelings of isolation in raising children and feelings of guilt over having difficulties in raising them.

You learn a great deal about yourself as a parent.  You learn what you have been doing that is helpful to your children's welfare and growth.  You learn great ways to cope with every day child rearing challenges and problems.  And you find out that you are not alone.

It is usually a marvelous experience for everyone involved.

It is now possible for parents in every community to have these experiences through participating in one-day parenting seminars that are provided by the nonprofit organization that I started 31 years ago, the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring (CICC).