Conveying Warmth -- Effective Praising, Part Two

Today we will look closely at the first three steps of the seven steps of the Effective Praising skill (see Parenting Skills – August 23, 2005 for a list of all seven steps.) 

Recall that the Effective Praising skill is a method for conveying warmth and acceptance, as well as serving to instruct children about which of their actions are significantly valued by their parents.

The behaviors that effective praise are focused upon are those of a cooperative, responsible and respectful nature, such as when a child plays or works cooperatively with others, helps with family chores, or speaks in a respectful tone of voice. 

The use of effective praise to single out and reinforce these types of behaviors is also a way of instilling the values of cooperation, responsibility and respect in our children.

The first three steps have to do with the body language of delivering effective praising:

1. Look At Your Child.  Before you can praise a child effectively, you have to look at the child. This lets the child know that you are talking to them in particular.

1. Move Close To Your Child.  This increases the power of praise because it is so much more personal and intimate.

1. Smile! Sometimes just a smile is rewarding enough by itself to make another person feel good.  So, you can imagine how powerful a smile can be when it’s coupled with lots of praise.

So now you are ready to deliver the praise, next we will learn what to say when we praise (come back on Tuesday, August 30, 2005).

You can learn more about this method by consulting the parent handbooks of the skill-building programs through which this skill is taught: Confident Parenting: Survival Skill-Training, Effective Black Parenting, and Los Niños Bien Educados.